emotions

LGLG.
Pain. Hurt. Reluctant. Tears.
Please tell me that everything is going to be alright.
I look forward to the day I see you smile again and can look me in the eye and say…
We have made it through.
may we enjoy that beautiful rainbow again but will never part again.
Press on.

Moving ON...

Doris is back from all that flying. – Canada, USA and Korea.
After being back for 3 weeks, she aint doing any better. Not any better at all.
All that travelling opened her eyes to see the world and increased her appetite to travel.
Day in, day out, she thinks about going to New Zealand next.

I miss Canada. I miss the freedom there. I miss Larry’s class. I miss fieldtrips with Dennis, Anna and Lisa. I miss Randy, Kai, Debbie, Moh and Tan. I miss wearing the layers of jacket and not being bothered how people look at you. I miss not having to think what to wear each other, coz even if you wear the same layers inside, no one knows. I hate the idea of waking up and thinking what I should wear today. I miss popping into my warm cosy boots. I miss preparing my own lunch. I miss queueing at the microwave station to heat up my lunch and even dinner. I miss the punctuality of buses. I miss the serenity of the parks. I miss going hiking weekly. I miss watching Friends and Two n the half man. I miss watching Canadian commercials. I miss my pillow buddy. I miss going to Safeway. I miss cooking supper at 2am. I miss going to the crowded library on Sunday. I miss reading in the park with Annabel. I miss the Friday bible study. I miss walking on the streets alone. There’s so much I miss.
But since I am back, I have to move on. Correction, I NEED to move on! I am trying. I am trying! I really am. Please give me time.
Its not easy facing so many people out of the sudden. I dislike going out. I avoid everyone now. I pretend I don’t see people and hope they wont say hi to me. I miss the food but I dun like to go to the canteen coz I duno anyone and its always so crowded. I miss my LUNCHBOX.

Please give me some time.
That’s so much things I need to readjust back. I need to strike a balance between what I have seen abroad and my surroundings now, so that I wont be judgmental and compare between the different societies. I need to redefine the meaning of home. I need to re-look for my national and cultural identity. I need to re-accept the fact that I am suppose to live up to the expectations of reality. I need to re-remember my aims and goals in live. I need to re-search for love, hope and joy. I need to re-establish trust and friendships. I need to re-catch up and find out what happened while I was away. I need to re-this, re-that, and the list goes on endlessly. I need to…
Please give me time.

Chinese New Year jus made me re-think about its meaning. Boring? Tradition? Custom? Obsolete?

ending with this:

When you get caught in the rain With no where to run
When you are distraught and in pain Without anyone,
When you keep crying out to be saved But nobody comes
And you feel so far awayThat you just can't fi nd your way home
You can get there alone it's okay once you say.

I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend, And everytime I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain.

And if you keep falling down Don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you'll need to prevail Once you say.

I can make it through the rain I can stand up once again On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend And everytime I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain.

And when the wind blows And shadows grow close
Don't be afraid There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you You'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain I can stand up once again On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend And everytime I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again And I'll live one more day and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes you can
Oh your gonna make it through the Rain

still having last min FUN!

Thoughts
After seeing parts of Singapore, City of Victoria, California and Seoul, I come to a conclusion, every city looks pretty much the same. Haha.. it’s the people, culture and nature that makes a place distinct.

After travelling for four months, the most frequented type of site I have been to would be – mountains and parks!
I have been to at least 13 parks be it national, provincial or local in Victoria alone!!
Hiking has become my kind of thing!
Went to the Grand Canyon in Arizona and Memorial Park in Town of Cupertino.
Well, do Universal Studio and Disneyland count as parks? – ThemePARKS? Haha..
Hiked Mt. Bukhansan in Seoul :)
I guess I’ve been pretty green during my trip.. - visiting green places & going green by walking A LOT!

A quick update of my tour here in Seoul:

1. Its AWESOME to go free and easy!! Don’t have to rush from place to place and can just simply be yourself and explore places at your own pace and ease!

2. Ordered my first meal in Seoul without conversing AT ALL!! I know nuts about speaking Korean and I cant live without FOOD! So ya, when when Doris is hungry, she goes all out to get what she wants, even overcoming language barrier!

3. When to palace and museum hopping!

- its funny how me and LG become stars when we are tourists ourselves! We were tried on the traditional official guard costume at the Northern Palace and were happily taking photos. Then this bunch of Thai girls came over and ask if they can take individual photos with us! Haha.. they said we look like superstars.. so ya,the gals took turn to take photos with us in the costume.. thinking back as to what happened, it hit me that I was zooified! Now, I know how it feels like to work in a themepark; having to put on costumes and entertaining the long queue of visitors dying to take photo with you.

- I guess everyone cant resist nature and would simply love to dwell in it. It’s interesting to see two thirds of palace space dedicated to gardens and parks!

4. Visited the old fortresses in Suwon and boy are they magnificent!! Its simply gorgeous to see how the town is build in and around the fortress wall. Walking on the fortress gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to walk to Great of China! Just by completing the whole fortress in Suwon takes about 3-4 hours!! Whaha.. Went to a small palace where some scenes of Da Chang Jing was shot.. cool!

5. Went to the de-militarized zone (DMZ).

Security was super tight as expected and everyone had to walked in two straight lines and visitors even have to adhere to a dress code!

Y a dress code? Coz it is said that North Korean soldiers would take pics of civilians wearing holey jeans or baggy clothes as a propaganda to its people that the outside world is poor and whatnot..

Learnt more about both North and South Korea.
Learnt how a 20mins fire exchange between soldiers from both sides can be triggered in an attempt to cut down a poplar tree!! After which, 6 jet fighters were put on standby to ensure that the tree was successfully cut down, without anymore injuries! Gosh, just look at the amount of effort put in to log a tree!! How lame can things get? Dun these people have other things better to do?? Bleah!

Soldiers on both side put on sunglasses not because it’s sunny nor coz it makes them seems cooler, sunglasses are worn to prevent direct eye contact which may give rise to eye fights. Even soldiers indoor wear sunglasses!

Even as a visitor, I could feel the tension between North and South Korean soldiers, what more about the locals living in both countries?
Peace comes with a price.. haiz.. what a heavy day that was.

But to top it off, I took photo with the most charming South Korean soldier!! **beams**

6. Hiked Mt. Bukhan today!! I really must say it’s a super tiring terrain!! But at the end of the end, when I got to the peak and stand in awe at the glorious splendor of nature, it’s a worth it climb!! Really, it is.. will upload photos soon.

7. After a day of climb, rewarded myself with GOOD food! Actually, I have been spending A LOT on food in Seoul! It’s THE place where I spend the most on FOOD! That aside, was at the food court and the first thing that caught my side was that there were no long queues in front of any of the food stalls!! Its not coz the food sux but coz they have a ordered system to order and collect food! You wait for no. to be called then go to the stall to collect your food. That simply! Long queues just obstruct the passage way and cause much inconvenience.

The second thing which hit me was how civic-minded the people are. They have to return their trays and plates after consumption to the respective stalls. Yes, it’s like a school canteen but cm’on it just takes a little effort from me and you to make the food court a better dining area! Just cant stand some pple who just make a mess of the table and expect cleaners to clear up for them! If my homeland wants to become a more gracious society, please start learning to be considerate and clean up your own mess!!

its like back in Victoria, everyone alights the bus saying thank you to the bus captain. And yups, I did that in seoul too. Its smth I want to bring back!
A gracious society starts from me!